Becoming a father in the heaven

“The sound of explosion was heard”… Before I finished reading of the news, you may have reached the heaven. Are you happy now? Do you feel glad that you went to heaven and 70 virgin angels welcomed you? While you were sleeping with your 70 virgin angles, do you have the time to look at earth? Have you taken a look at your widow wife? Will you remember, the night before the explosion, the sex with your wife?

While all the angels embrace you in heaven, have you given thought about your sperm? May one of them will have reached your wife’s womb and fertilized her ovum and you became a father in heaven but never the chance to see the cute face of your baby!

Your pregnant wife will have taken a sonography from the clinic, “is it a boy or a girl”? She remembers you. “What will we call our son… what will we call our daughter…” again she is reminded of you but you are not around… you are in the heaven with the 70 virgin angles… she crumples the sonography result… you are not there to hold her, she faints… the nurse is flirting with bureaucracy and corruption and is not bothered to look after your wife and ask her what happened?

Your wife brings out her mobile from the bag. Among the numbers, she dials your number… the person is not available… tears burn her eyes… she remembers the night you were late and not home, your mobile was off and any time she called you, heard: the person is not available. That night she thought perhaps you slept with another girl… she laugh madly in the clinic.

At midnight when you arrived at home, you saw her angry face and wished you didn’t come back. You wished you slept on the street like the homeless sleeping in cardboard boxes instead of seeing the explosion of anger and jealousy in her eyes. You didn’t know what to do, both of you are victims. She is the victim of jealousy and you are the victim of patriarchal honor.  Without saying anything, you went out and slept on the cement floor of the yard.

“the person is not available”, she laughs at her stupidity, she laughs at her jealousy, she laughs at her disability… she remembered in the morning seeing you sleeping on the cold cement floor like a fetus, she wanted to kick you and scream: “go and sleep wherever you were late last night”… but she burst into tears and fell down beside you, touching your nice hair through her fingers, as you woke up, put one finger on your mouth to silent you, kiss you and carry you inside the house…

She put her head between her knees, she didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. You went to heaven, having fun with 70 virgin girls. You didn’t take your mobile with you and she cannot call you and tell the 70 virgins they have never saw a man before; you became a father and it’s time to let you come back home and take care of her and your baby…

Note: The original version of this post is written in Persian and I uploaded in my Persian blog as well.

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Robin Hood type movies

Robin Hood was one of my favorite cartoons during childhood. Recently I watched two movies which were kind of Robin Hood-like.

One of them was Point Break (2015) in which criminals steal diamonds and money to give them to poor people. I liked this movie because of its great scenes in locations such as Angel Falls in Venezuela and Cave of Swallows in Mexico.

The second movie was Now You See Me in which four amateur magicians steal money from big companies and give them to audiences during their performances. This movie was awesome and some parts of it reminded me of Ocean trilogy and The Prestige movie. The good news about this movie is, the second one is now in cinemas.

 

 

Raj Koothrappali vs Donald Trump

Big Bang Theory is an American comedy which I enjoyed watching since last year. I watched seasons 8 and 9 of this funny series. My favourite character is Sheldon. Sometimes Raj Koothrappali is funny too, for example, he dates 2 girls in episode 21 of season 9 and Leonard was shocked and said: “The guy who for years couldn’t even talk to women is suddenly going out with two of them? How is that possible?”

Actually I also don’t know how this is possible? But his role reminded me of extremist Islamic culture which don’t allow women to converse with men, which limits their ability to choose a future husband but if they behave like a good Muslim in this world, God will give them 70 men in Heaven. Men are also not allowed to talk to women but they can marry four women and as good Muslims they have access to 70 virgins in heaven. If Raj is your idea of a funny character, extremist Muslims should more hilarious to you too. Still do you want to support Donald Trump which is quite anti-immigrant and Muslims in America? Seriously, don’t you want to be friends with funny Muslims?